Friday, March 31, 2006

Phantom of the Final Four

UCLA backup center Lorenzo Mata broke his nose during UCLA's practice on Wednesday. Mata, who also broke his nose in January against ASU, announced he would wear a mask in Saturday's semifinal against LSU. Maybe these injuries are just God's way of telling Mata that he should be wearing a mask full time. You figure that Mata will be wearing one of those clear masks, which really won’t highlight his features. Instead, maybe Mata should consider wearing a mask like this, or this, or maybe even this. Maybe Mata could use one of those masks and then switch Mata with Bill Walton at halftime. The officials would be none the wiser.

Of course, there is a better opportunity for Mata. He could don the mask and revive Andre The Giant's "Giant Machine" gimmick from the WWF in the 1980s.

Maybe Mata could even make an appearance at WrestleMania this weekend when UCLA is eliminated by LSU. Is Mata the ugliest player in college sports history? Talk about it in The Hater Nation Forums.


Conrad Bain said...

I'm want UCLA to win tomorrow. I want the Bruinwagon to be filled to maximum capacity when that motherfucker hits the guardrail.

Just like the Trojanmobile was.

Anonymous said...

Charlie Villenueva is the ugliest player in college sports history. Hands down.

Herman said...

The Bruinwagon?
Heh, if I didn't know any better, judging by the media coverage, I'd swear the Final Four only has three teams competing: The Katrina Twins (Big Fatty and Hops Thomas) meeting the winner of Cinderella vs. Joakim Noah in the title game.

Yes, it appears that The Katrina Twins have a bye on Saturday cuz no one outside of UCLA fans are talking about the Bruins.

When Nick Lachey and Snoop Dogg start wearing UCLA jerseys, then we'll talk.

Anonymous said...

You are a fucking asshole. Please fight me.

Conrad Bain said...

By noon today, there won't be a single baby blue jersey or cap left in any K-Mart from Chula Vista s to Eureka. The Bruinwagon is on the road.

Anonymous said...

He may be ugly, but he made Big Baby look like a Freshman in high school, and he got more tale last night than you get in a year.

Richard Cranium