Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Father of the Year

Randy Johnson has had sex. If that is not scary enough, he’s even produced a bastard. The New York Post reported that Johnson has a secret 16-year-old love child he's never spoken to. Which seems so out of character for this guy.

The a-hole, who is a born-again Christian, has seen his daughter only once - right after her out-of-wedlock birth in 1989. Johnson demanded a paternity test when the mother first sought child support in 1998. He has also ignored his daughter’s written pleas to meet him. The jerk now wants the girl’s mom to return nearly $100K he’s paid for day care.

That sure sounds like the Christian thing to do, eh?

While the thought of Johnson having sex and procreating is scary, you haven’t heard the worst part. The 6-foot-1 high-school student “Looks like him, walking and talking, a young girl with attitude,” the mother told the Post.
Seriously, that has to be one ugly kid. She should demand an extra $100K for being saddled with those genes.

UPDATE

Damn, we weren't kidding. She looks just like the dude. And he is not a handsome man.

Johnson’s daughter told the New York Post today that every time she wrote her father, he would respond with a baseball card with his signature, “Randy.” Like he couldn’t have put down “Dad?”

Hopefully Johnson will be scheduled to pitch against the Angels in the home opener.


Talk about it in The Hater Nation Forums. A direct link to the story can be found here.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

She's not so bad

Richard Cranium said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Richard Cranium said...

God DAMN! She didn't get hit with the ugly branch, she hit every branch on the way down the ugly tree. I guess it's better than her pop, who looks like he went bobbing for french fries.

The Universal Cynic said...

Imagine her hooking up with JJ Redick-Manning in a few years -- they could produce translucent children with Yankee/Duke pedigrees. It's like something out of a horror movie.