Sunday, January 15, 2006

This Just In: Lil' Hater Hates the Refs

Lil' Hater has no problem with a little Home Cooking, especially in the NFL Playoffs. All things being equal, teams that win home field advantage usually deserve the benefit of the doubt from the refs. (Except for the Giants, who deserve nothing but scorn for their crap-the-bed performance last week.)

But it's getting out of hand.

Yeah, every jackass commentator (like NFL Adam) will note the symmetry of the Pats Dynasty ending by a gutless no-call on the Champ Bailey play, just as the Dynasty started in the Tuck Rule game. But literally giving Denver 14 free points (that wasn’t close to interference) is going a little too far. (But if it ends up making the Sports Dork cry, then who is to say what’s right and what’s wrong…)

And having the refs assess all of TWO whole penalties (both 5-yarders) to the Seahawks in their game is just transparently lame. C'mon already. Yeah, the clearly tense Seahawks can't go two plays without fumbling the ball, but they’re so composed in a big game that they don’t commit one big penalty all game long. Right. ...

When Matt Hasselback gets seven seconds in the pocket for every pass play, it isn't because his O-line is great, it’s because that very same line is clearly holding the 'Skins, and is getting away with it. It's OK, refs, to call one out of every 15 holding calls. Really, it is.

And by the way, I think we all saw the true character of Shaun Alexander today. Any other man in that postion, with a mild headache in a must-win game, would have kept playing. Not Shaun, though. He's already got his big-money deal set for next year.

For a guy with a game-ending concussion, he sure seemed plenty able to jump and run around like a jackass on the sidelines when his teammates were picking up the slack for him.

And don't worry Shaun, you looked really manly jumping around, clapping your hands in your widdle rain-coat, widdle mittens and ski cap.

Meanwhile, Clinton Portis was playing with a shoulder that requires surgery, Shaun Springs was playing with a torn groin (ouch) that needs surgery, and even 94-year-old lineman Ray Brown was able to summon the courage to re-enter the game after being told he shouldn't. None of them are in a contract-year, either.

With characters like Alexander – who value setting NFL records in pointless late-season games more than doing what it takes to win in the playoffs – it’s pretty clear that Seattle doesn't need to worry about Super Bowl victory parades any time soon. They’re done next week.

Other notes of a slightly inebriated Bobblehead:

WORDS OF advice to CBS, and the makers of Love Monkey: Your show might come off more realistic to Joe Public if you casted guys that at least appear to be heterosexuals for the main roles in this show. The show would be more butch if it cast Sean Hayes, Elton John, Kenny Chesney, and Peyton Manning.

WAS THE Family Guy's Glen Quagmire modeled after Jim Nance? I’m guessing Nance is more perverted in real life than Quagmire, based on those longing looks at Phil Simms. Or maybe it’s the booze talking.

THOSE LAME Pepsi Machine/NFL ads would almost be funny if a drunken Pepsi Machine hit on Suzy Kolber. Yeah, maybe the booze is taking a toll.

CHECK OUT the lame message board (they make me do this) known as the Hater Nation Forums.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would imagine it was a doctor's decision to leave Shaun Alexander out, not his own. Just a guess.