Thursday, January 12, 2006

Teammates Shocked to Learn Lakers Lose

PORTLAND Members of the Los Angeles Lakers were shocked to learn that their team lost to the Portland Trailblazers on Wednesday night. Most Lakers experienced surprise when coach Phil Jackson announced the loss in a team meeting following Kobe Bryant's one-on-five display in Portland.

Kobe couldn't even bring himself to speak with the media. So you know he was bummed.

Point forward Lamar Odom excused himself from the Lakers locker room to go double-check with the scoreboard in the Rose Garden and couldn't believe what his eyes had seen. Odom, along with the other ten players on the Lakers roster, spent most of the game in the visiting clubhouse.

"When I went into the locker room, Kobe was leading those guys by eight points," Odom said. "I looked up at the monitor a few times during our poker game and figured that Kobe would just rally them back."

Even Jackson could not believe it.

"I was upstairs having coffee with [Lakers executive] Jeanie [Buss] and I saw that he was down in the fourth quarter," Jackson said. "I made my way down to the sidelines during a timeout to see if he wanted my help, or to at least get four other guys out from the locker room. But he just waved me. Kind of like he has done all season."

Bryant will play host to LeBron James tonight at Staples Center. Odom said that he is planning a backyard barbeque for both his Lakers teammates and the visiting Cavaliers.

"We will have a lot of food, and then kick back and watch this game on my new plasma," Odom said. "Kobe told me that he doesn't even want us in the building for this one."


The Clippers are rumored to be acquiring the enigmatic Ron Artest. If that happens, the Hater Nation will actually take a great interest in the NBA for a change. Talk about it in the Hater Nation Forums.


mutoni said...

That was good, I enjoyed it.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

Ahh, can't get enough satire! That shit is hilarious guys. I bet Lamar makes a helluva burger.

I got a couple similar "stories" up the last few days. Check em out: