Thursday, January 19, 2006

The Bish Keeps Rocking the Hits

If you ever see the Black Crowes in concert you want to hear them open with the song Remedy; close with Remedy; play Remedy at least one other time; followed by an encore of Remedy.

Play your damn hits.

Sports writers are the same way. You want to read the classic take. Orange County Register columnist Steve Bisheff (affectionately known as The Bish in the Hater Nation Forums) really delivered on Thursday. He hit all of his classic fallbacks in his typical heavy-handed, over-dramatic prose about Jerome Bettis.

Witness the brilliance of the Bish.

Excuse some of us if we're feeling a little sentimental about Jerome Bettis, who could be playing his last football game Sunday.

You see, we knew him before he was "The Bus."

This is classic Bisheff: You had to know "The Bus" back in the day to really appreciate him. It is the sports writers equivalent of a music snob saying, "I remember seeing the Stones back in Chelsea before they got really popular." We get it; you're old, you've seen it all.

Back in 1993, Bettis, the frisky, young power runner from Notre Dame, was a rookie with the then Los Angeles Rams. In the midst of a fine first season, he enjoyed a bust-out game in New Orleans, rushing for 212 yards in 28 carries in a 23-20 upset of the Saints.

Caught up in the drama of the moment, your humble correspondent noted this was the same town where Tennessee Williams first made a name for himself with "A Streetcar Named Desire." Then, obviously impressed by Bettis' thundering runs, I added: "Here comes 'A Streetcar Named Jerome.'"

This is a classic, "Damn am I fresh" move from the Bish. Not only is he congratulating himself on a joke he wrote a dozen years ago, but he reiterates the joke here and blows it completely.

Hey, streetcar, bus, at least they're in the same general family.

The Bish goes for the kill midway through his story (we'll spare you the details. You don't want to read it) where the Bish expounds on Bettis' trade from St. Louis to Pittsburgh.

As career moves go, this was the football equivalent of George Clooney leaving the cast of "ER" to take a crack at making movies.

This is actually the saddest part of the story. This is where the Bish tries desperately to prove that he is still viable. That The Bish still has his finger on the pulse of pop culture. Despite the bad rug on his head along with a suit that looks as though it was purchased as Sears and slept in the night prior to Register photo day, the Bish wants to show that he is cool. That is so sad, we wish we could cook up some Remedy to cure him.

Get it? Remedy? That fresh reset was our homage to the Bish.

2 comments:

Greg Gibson said...

Steve Bisheff is going to kill you all when he sees this.

EWF said...

No way that hair is real.