Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Those Wacky Baseball Wives

First Anna Benson made news yesterday when the Mets started shopping her husband, Kris, around during the winter meetings in Texas. Anna, oblivious to the fact that her husband is just a pedestrian starter, felt her negotiations with Playboy were causing problems with team (instead of his 4+ ERA) and lashed out over the weekend.

"We would never, ever have signed with New York if they had said they were going to trade us," said Benson, 29. "I was Miss [Politically Correct] for the Mets the entire time I was there.

"I have no deal with Playboy," she said, adding that talks crumbled last month over money.

Miss Benson sure was Miss Politically Correct when she said she would bang the entire Mets organization if she ever caught her husband cheating. Benson also bashed the Mets after trading for “Mr. I Hate America,” Carlos Delgado, who has, at times refused to stand for “God Bless America.” Let's make one thing perfectly clear. The Mets do not care about his made-up Playboy controversy or any other issue as long as a player contributes on the field. In fact, if Kris Benson wins 30 games this year, the Mets would probably allow Anna to have sex with Delgado on top of the American Flag at home plate before a game.

However, if the Mets are concerned about Miss Benson appearing in Playboy, than the team will never consider signing Scott Erickson as his wife (and former Monday Night Football bimbo) Lisa Guerrero, 41, will appear in the January issue.

Guerrero, a former LA Rams cheerleader, continues the Playboy heritage of publishing pictorials of girls well past their prime. (Meaning that a Brittney Spears pictorial could happen at any time now.) The advanced showing obtained by the Hater Nation shows that the airbrushing department had to work overtime. Not as bad as Tiffany, but close.

CHEESEBURGER SCALE

Fans will remember the “Cheeseburger in a Fat Farm” motto. A cheeseburger is just a cheeseburger, but give it to one of the contestants on Survivor and it is a valuable commodity. For example, Jennie Finch is a rather unattractive woman, but because she plays softball, she is deemed hotter than she really is. So where do these two baseball wives rank?

Anna Benson: cheeseburger. Kris Benson walked into a strip club to choose a mate and this was the best he could come up with?

Lisa Guerrero: hot girl who is in sports (even if she is a self-described "old broad."). A couple of things here, she was an LA Rams cheerleader which means you had to be pretty hot. This is not Cincinnati. Second, she worked for FOX which hires for looks, not broadcasting talent. Sold.

Talk about it in the Hater Nation Forums.

No comments: