Sunday, December 25, 2005

A New Tradition

The niece walked over during Christmas afternoon and asked, “What are you doing, buddy?”

“Watching Brett Favre systematically destroy the Packers Christmas with his erratic play. Would you like to join me?”

“No, thanks,” she said matter-of-factly as she went back to playing with her My Little Pony.

Kids. ... Sometimes they can be so intuitive.

Favre did everything he could to throw away—what could possibly be his last—game with the hated Bears as he tossed three early interceptions. Including one interception that was returned for a touchdown. But inexplicably the Packers defense and special teams had given the team—and Favre—one last chance for a victory.

Did God have one last Christmas miracle left in him?

Nah. Instead it was Favre playing the role of a Christmas turkey as the final ticks of the clock wound down. The family—including the niece—gathered around the television as Favre drove the Packers deep inside Bears territory during the game’s final moments. After the obligatory spike to stop the clock, Favre’s three final plays went sack, sack, and interception. It unfolded as predictably as any of your own holiday traditions. The niece should have stayed with the My Little Pony.

CHARGERS OUT

It was refreshing seeing the Chargers get blown out for a change. How many close losses can a team take? Three home losses to the Cowboys, Steelers, and Dolphins are what doomed the Chargers this year. Not the tough schedule. The truth about 2004 also is evident that the Chargers were really fortunate in their run to the AFC West title a year ago. This club will not make the playoffs next year if the secondary is not improved drastically and another consistent receiving option is evident.

It was not a lost year in San Diego. The Chargers ended the home winning streak of the Patriots, kept the Colts from going undefeated, and punked the Manning family twice. If the Bolts victory eventually leads to another Colts defeat in the playoffs, it will not be a stretch to say that this season was more satisfying than the typical Marty Schottenheimer-like division title followed by a playoff flameout.

That is what the Broncos have to look forward to.

If you want to know why the Chargers lost on Saturday the answers came earlier in the week when the two-biggest Raiders haters, LaDainian Tomlinson and Schottenheimer both admitted they would be rooting for the Raiders this week. Aside from keeping your mind on your own business, it is just bad form to ever root against the Raiders. The only time you would ever consider rooting for the Raiders is when the team was lined-up to play Al Qaeda.

But then you would still be rooting for Bin Laden and Al Qaeda while you gave the points.

WHO WANTS TO WIN THE NFC?

The Carolina Panthers are officially a disappointment. The Cowboys are like that easy girl that all the guys want to date. Yet, she becomes as frigid as Blair Warner when you finally get your chance. The Panthers could have locked up the division, but will now likely go on the road in the playoffs where they will have no chance in Chicago (where they lost earlier).

Of course the big news of the day was that Bill Parcells might step down as the Cowboys coach. This came as big news to those who did not realize that Parcells was still coaching the team. Parcells might as well retire from the game as he has proved to be one of the biggest coaching frauds in NFL history. Parcells has this reputation as an excellent coach, but it becoming obvious that Bill Belichick has always been the brains behind the operation. Parcells is nothing more than the Remington Steele of the NFL.

Parcells record without Belichick (since he first took the Cleveland job in 1991) is 45-49. That is the kind of record you expect for your average Raiders coach.

REGGIE BUSH SWEEPSTAKES UPDATE

This joke is not funny anymore.


Merry Christmas to all, even you Pagens out there. Check out the Hater Nation Forums. It has to beat tackling the crowds at the local mall.

2 comments:

Charger Warren said...

Yeah, twenty years from now we Charger fans will still be reminiscing about the year we beat the Patriots at home. And who will ever forget what they were doing when we defeated Eli Manning?

The NFL should make us a trophy out of a big gold-plated turd.

Lil' Hater said...

but in fairness to NFL Adam, he is petty enough to enjoy those things more than a Super Bowl title.