Thursday, November 10, 2005

Renee Thomas Could Use Rosenhaus

You can make fun of Drew "Next question" Rosenhaus all you would like, but the dude does his job. The same cannot be said for the lawyer representing former Carolina Panthers cheerleader turned Penthouse hopeful Renee Thomas (aka, the hot one). The 20-year old aspiring dancer (think Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls) stands accused of giving a false name and causing harm to another, a third-degree felony punishable by probation or a jail term of up to five years.

Yet attorney Peter Anderson issued a statement on Thursday that said, “Miss Thomas denies all allegations of any sexual conduct.”

Your client faces up to five years in jail and all you care about is making sure that nobody believes that she had sex with Angela Keathley. But then again, if you look at a picture five years in jail compared to having sex with Keathley might not be that bad of a trade off. The only obvious thing is that Keathley certainly is not Gina Gershon, who played the veteran dancer who tried to seduce Berkley in Showgirls.

At this point Thomas would be better served to have Eric Stratton defend her in court.

"The question here today is not whether Renee punched a bathroom patron or took a few liberties with her female party friends.

"She did.

"But you cannot let a few bad cheerleaders ruin it for the rest of the sexually explicit cheerleaders that make extra cash by selling cheesecake swimsuit calendars. For if Renee is guilty, isn’t the whole cheerleading profession to blame? And since cheerleading is so woven into the fabric of our American culture, isn’t this really an indictment of our American culture in general? You can badmouth America all you want, but I am not going to sit here while you badmouth lesbian cheerleaders trying to get it on in public."

Gentlemen, who is with me?

Props to the Panthers

The Carolina Panthers have been around for just over a decade, yet they have provided NFL fans with some of the most lasting images in league history. From a drunken Kerry Collins walking out of a jail cell to Rae Carruth hiding in the trunk of a car after ordering a hit on his pregnant girlfriend. Now the lesbian cheerleader encounter in a Tampa Bay restroom.

Congratulations Carolina. If it was not for Rod Smart, we would push to have your team disbanded.

A New Game

Remember the fit the NFL had over the series Playmakers? Remember the pundits denouncing Lawrence Taylor for endorsing the latest version of NFL Blitz? If anything, Taylor has cleaned up his image by walking away from the New Felons League. We offer you, with that in mind, a game where you have to distinguish whether it is a real NFL story, or if it was a plot line from Playmakers.

1. A head coach knocks up a team secretary and forces her to have an abortion.

2. A punter misses a game because he spill a fondue pot on his leg.

3. A coach is forced to miss a few games because he has colon cancer.

4. A gay player must hide his identity from his teammates.

5. A player threatens to kill his head coach.

The answer key.

1. NFL. Dennis Green allegedly did this in Minnesota.

2. NFL. The Jacksonville punter had this happen a few years ago.

3. Playmakers. But with Mike Martz this year, this obviously was not far from reality.

4. NFL. Although with Tom Brady … just kidding. It only has been confirmed on Playmakers.

5. NFL. Kyle Turley was investigated by NFL security last year.

Yet when you look at the Terrell Owens saga, the Vikings boat cruise, and the sexcapades of Panthers cheerleaders, life often does imitate art.

Party Girls

A radio station in Tampa found pictures of the girls crashing a high-school reunion before making their way to Banana Joes on Saturday night. You can catch more of the hijinks here. Be sure to also join in on the Hater Nation Forums here. We invite all sorts of party crashers.

And Finally

Starting on Friday, Banana Joe's -- the Tampa bar now famous for the Carolina Panthers cheerleader scuffle -- will offer no cover to anyone (male or female) that shows up dressed like a cheerleader. This is an absolute true story.

Professional cheerleader? You drink for free. So that means Gene Anthony Ray from the movie Fame gets to drink for free. Dance into the Hater Nation Forums here.

1 comment:

Flash said...

But what job does Rosenhaus do?? He fights for his players and though that's great, that's his damn job. He shouldn't be overly congratulated for that, as holding one's ground to ensure your players make money is only half of the deal. Agents are supposed to provide sound advice to their clientele and Rosenhaus is coming up woefully short in that regard.