Monday, November 21, 2005

Fool Us Once Bengals

The Bengals have had two chances to prove to the football world that they belonged among the elite of the NFL teams. Both times they have missed that opportunity—at home. It is enough to make us concerned about the well being of our friend Cris Collinsworth. The Bengals have lost to both Pittsburgh and Indianapolis this season proving that they just do not have what it takes to make a run for the Super Bowl.

Instead the Bengals are like Anthony Michael Hall’s character in Sixteen Candles, the King of the Dweebs. The Bengals have built a pretty good record against the bottom feeders of the AFC and will use that to slide in the playoffs. To expect this team to make a run for the conference championship, however, would be foolish. We will not be fooled again.


Priest Holmes could likely commiserate with Jennifer Aniston. The Chiefs dumped Holmes after his injury, and like Brad Pitt, have flourished with a new partner in Larry Johnson. It must be painful for Holmes to watch Larry do all the things that he used to do, running for meaningless touchdowns in a blowout as the team heads for another disappointing season. And how smart do you look if you drafted Larry Johnson in your fantasy league? That is like having an extra first-round draft choice.


Not to go Steve Bisheff on all of you by stating the obvious, but Reggie Bush won the Heisman Trophy on Saturday. Any voter that does not vote for Bush to win should lose the privilege of voting for the award.

It is a shame that Fresno State will end up moving out of the Top 20 for losing to USC. Writers and coaches that vote in these polls should consider the teams some of these ball clubs are losing to. If we had a vote in this thing our ballot would look something like this:

  1. USC
  2. Oregon
  3. Notre Dame
  4. Fresno State
  5. Texas
If somebody can make a valid reason why the Ducks should not be the top one-loss team in the country, we would like to hear it. Oregon has lost one game, to USC, which means they are basically undefeated against college teams. And nice work by Miami this week. Is it any coincidence that on a day when the Hurricanes break out uniforms that look storm troopers, they bumble around the field and lose against Georgia Tech. I cannot wait to read all of the Seven Floor Crew jokes this morning.

And it feels like we are overrating Texas here.


Leave it to Chad Johnson to at least come through for the Bengals. Johnson, who has made a name for himself with his touchdown celebrations, proposed to this Bengals hottie, here. The couple celebrated their engagement in the bathroom of a local Hooters. Just kidding. It is just nice to finally see a cheerleader that actually likes men.

Johnson also held up a sign to show his support for Terrell Owens. And why shouldn't he? Johnson will be able to cash in if Owens gets his wish of free agency.

You can discuss more of this at the Hater Nation forums by clicking here.

1 comment:

Cutthroat Pirates said...

Chad is the man, GO BUCS......