Friday, October 28, 2005

What's Up For Week 8?

You have questions about the upcoming week? The Hater Nation will try to provide with the answers, as only we can.

What's up with the St. Louis football situation?

It is pretty grave. Mike Martz has threatened St. Louis football fans by saying that he will be back to coach the team next season. But it is looking more and more like Martz will not be welcomed back at all. This is horrible news. The St. Louis football team and Martz were a perfect marriage of inept ownership/management matched only by a clueless coaching staff. It is like Colonel Jessup in A Few Good Men. We want Martz on that wall, and need him on that wall. But there is no reason to push the panic button if Martz is let go. Let's remember that when Georgia Frontiere and John Shaw were running the Rams, they traded away Eric Dickerson and brought in esteemed quarterbacks such as a washed up Bert Jones and Dieter Brock. There is reason to believe that they will capture that same lightning in a bottle with the St. Louis football team.

One wild card to consider is what happens to Martz. The beleaguered coach could find himself without a job. The Raiders could find themselves in need of a football coach. Could you imagine?

What is the worst quarterback controversy in the history of the NFL?

You would think that the on-going Trent Dilfer/Charlie Frye drama in Cleveland could be the worst quarterback controversy ever. But the Cleveland might not even be the worst quarterback controversy of the season. San Francisco coach Mike Nolan is debating between starting Alex Smith and Ken Dorsey. That is like trying to decide which broad you find attractive in Dove's campaign for beauty. Sure not all women look like swimsuit models, but most women are better looking than Chyna and the typical starting five of your average WNBA team. Who were the ad wizards that came up with that? What a horrible campaign. As Homer Simpson would say, "I like my beer cold, TV loud, and my models emaciated."

Although it has been reported that Sheryl Swoopes is a huge fan of the campaign.

Which quarterback has single-handedly killed the most fantasy football franchises, Daunte Culpepper or Peyton Manning?

It is Manning and it is not even close. If you selected Culpepper in your fantasy draft, here is a sign—it says that you are an idiot. How did you not see this coming? Even if Peter King wants you to believe that the Vikings are going to be better off without Randy Moss, nobody believed it. If you drafted Culpepper, you have nobody to blame.

Manning is a different story. Manning was a top-three pick in everybody’s draft, even the top pick in some instances. There was no empirical evidence that Manning was going to turn into a modern day Troy Aikman. The Cowboys signal caller might have been the best quarterback in the 1990s, but he was fantasy death as he handed the ball to Emmitt Smith. The only hope is that Peyton will eventually grow tired of all of the praise draped on the Eli Messiah and will start tossing six touchdown passes a game.

Speaking of Peyton and Eli, how long until this evolves into a rivalry much like brothers Bret and Owen Hart? It will not be long before Peyton has a meltdown on national television telling everybody that he is not a "Nugget."

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Chumps said...

Those Dove chicks look pretty good to me.

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