Friday, October 07, 2005

What's Up For Week 5?

You have questions and we have answers. Something things to ponder while Peter King is mourning the Patriots latest defeat.

What is wrong with Tom Brady?

Dude seems like kind of a loser. Brady lashed out at San Diego Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer at the quarterback's weekly media session on Wednesday for suggesting that injuries might be taking their toll on the defending Super Bowl champions.

"You don't talk about our team. He has no business talking about our team," Brady said. "He's not our coach. We'll let our coach talk about our team. We'll let our players talk about our team. The only thing that we ever do is give respect to the other teams, because that's what they deserve. They played a good game. They beat us. That's what it is. No more, no less. One game."

Brady then said, "You are not the boss of me, Marty," as he ran to his room and slammed the door. Brady then poured himself a nice bubble bath and looked at pictures of himself from GQ Magazine.

The message here is, Tom Brady is a freaking baby. The pressure of being in all of those bad commercials is getting to him. Maybe it is all the fact that he has been one-upped by teammate Tom Cruise who announced that he and Katie Holmes are expecting a baby.

Look for Bridget Moynahan to get pregnant, too, in response. Well, if he can break through one of those five layers of protection.

How is the Vinny Testaverde era going to end for the Jets?

When did the NFL turn into the WWF where guys come in an out of retirement more than Mick Foley and Ric Flair? You wonder why the NFL does not turn out any good quarterbacks any more and then you look at a guy like Brooks Bollinger. The guy got one game to prove he could play. I guess the guy should be lucky that is coach is not Joe Gibbs. The Jets are not in the same position as the Bills, where they are burning a good defense. The Jets had nothing to play for. They should stick with Bollinger to see if he develops, or finish 1-15 and take Matt Leinart to overshadow Eli Messiah and the Giants in New Jersey.

Is Kelly Holcomb the answer in Buffalo?

No. You are an idiot if you Willis McGahee on your fantasy football roster.

Which winless team is due for a victory?

The Houston Texans, if only because they are playing Tennessee. Add Andre Johnson to the list of players you would be an idiot for if they were on your fantasy team.

Who are your Fantasy picks?

Griese, T.O., Johnson, Williams, McGahee, Keading, and Atlanta.

Where are the Mike Martz jokes about his visits to the hospital?

There are some lines that you will not personal cross. Luckily, Lil' Hater does not feel the same way. So here is take on the whole Martz situation:

Martz was in the hospital with a heart ailment? Man, this is the first time this season somebody accused somebody in the St. Louis organization of having a heart.

When told by doctors that he had an infection of the heart, Mike Martz immediately challenged the call. And lost.

Seriously, though, this illness could truly make the difference between the Rams finishing 7-9 or 8-8.
[Hold it! Just you hold it! -- The Editor]

Actually, what the doctors told Martz was that he had an infection of the brain. But he was too stupid to remember that, and thought they said heart. [I said hold it. That is enough. -- The Editor]

Thanks to Lil’ Hater for contributing, everybody who read this is now going to hell.


D.G.P. said...

OK, I have to admit, I am still a Rams fan. I don't feel abandoned. I've always told people that, I'm a fan of the franchise, not the city they play in. As long as that makes sense to me, I'll be OK.
But, you're right on about Martz ... or as I call him: Coach Fumblenuts. Cuz, that's what he might as well be doing on the sidelines - fumbling with his nuts.

Tom Brady sucks my ass (not literally, though I'm sure he finds that thought intriguing). Does it make me a bad person that I was sooooooooooo happy when Rodney Harrison nearly got Theismann'd? Ugh, that was beautiful. Kharma is a bitch, Rodney.

Well, time for work. Being the slot during Friday Night Football season sucks nearly as much as Tom Brady and Martz's replay challenges.

NFL Adam said...

If I was ever working for a newspaper again, I would not go near the office on Friday nights. It is death.

Chandor said...

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