Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Norv Turner Weekly Journal


Norv Turner has agreed to write his personal journal on thehaternation.com. Turner's keen insight and football acumen will be a welcome addition to the typical nonsense that is written in this space.

What I Did During My Bye Week
By Norv Turner, as told to Lil'Hater.

They bye week came at a perfect time for us because it preceded our game with the San Diego Chargers. I treat rivalry games with the utmost respect, as evidenced by my record against the Dallas Cowboys when I was the head coach in Washington. I can count at least two times in 15 where we actually beat the Cowboys. That is right. We scored more points than those son of a guns combined in two games. So I figured that it would be good to take a look at some of the un-edited thoughts I wrote down in preparation for the Chargers game to show you what it is like to play an NFL rival. Hope you enjoy.


  • Be sure to remind journalists that I am a nice guy and therefore should not be held responsible for my team's failures. It worked for seven seasons in D.C. Only President Bush will have a longer running string of failures in Washington. Well, if he survives that long.
  • Check the NFL Record and Fact Book for "mostpenaltiess committed in one season." Prepare congratulatory remarks for when the record is broken--in week 11.
  • Two weeks is just not enough time to game-plan for the Chargers, especially with all of the great baseball on television. And I'll be damned if I'm staying up late to watch them play on Monday night. Let's just wing it, I say.
  • The Chargers must be tired after that physical match-up with the Steelers, while we'll be all rested. Let's keep it close in the first half, and then we can wear them down late in the game. Oh Norv, you are a genius!
  • Assume LT won't see much of the ball--I mean, what coach in their right mind would keep giving the ball to the team's best player?
  • Ask assistant for the name of that receiver-guy on our team. You know, the one with the afro. Boss? Hoss? That kid could be good some day, but he'll have to be a decoy this week.
  • Finish reading self-help book Don't Sweat the Details, apply lessons to special-teams, and the two-minute drill.
  • God bless Mike Tice and the Minnesota Vikings. What a blessing to have Tice as a distraction.
  • But a boat trip does sound fun. Ask SeaBass to organize chartered cruise. That should be a good team-bonding exercise.
  • How can I subtly suggest to Kerry Collins that he start drinking again?
  • Set TiVo to save Romanowski on 60 Minutes. Note to self: check to see if Michael Westbrook wants to play for us--now that guy could throw a sucker-punch to a teammate.
  • Check Al Davis' pulse. Still ticking? Damn, he's tougher than Jack Kent Cooke.

As you can tell by the game, the Chargers really fooled us by going to LT. Sure didn't see that coming. But the important thing to remember is that we beat the Chargers in the second half, 7-3. So from my math, we split the game 1-1. We should have gone into overtime to settle it, but that is the breaks.

So it was another solid week for the Raiders and our return to glory. Hope you enjoyed reading this and look forward to a long tenure at thehaternation.com.

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3 comments:

Ferragamo said...

Finally the Lil' Hater has come back to the Hater Nation!

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