Monday, October 10, 2005

Keyshawn Johnson: NFL Man of the Year

Leave it to Keyshawn Johnson to mar a convincing Cowboys victory over the rival Eagles. Instead of celebrating a considerable route, Cowboys players must take sides and offer explanations why Johnson, well, started acting like a Johnson.

Quarterback Drew Bledsoe and Johnson got into a heated discussion after the enigmatic receiver fumbled to give the Eagles its only touchdown of the game in a 33-10 victory. The lesson here is that Johnson does not want to talk about his failures on the field.

"I am not the type of player that points fingers at anybody and I don't want them to point them at me," Johnson said. Then he immediately ripped his quarterback by saying "There are situations where balls are bounced at you and you don't say anything."

Unless Keyshawn was talking about his last date (just saying), it sounds like he was pointing a finger at his quarterback. It would not be the first time that the non-finger pointing Johnson pointed a finger at his teammates.

Johnson referred to teammate Wayne Chrebet as a "mascot" during his famed Throw Me the Damn Ball tantrum/book. Johnson also said that Chrebet was a "flashlight," while he was a "star."

Johnson ripped into his Tampa Bay teammates—and most notably Warren Sapp—after a playoff loss in 2002 by saying that most of his teammates need to do less talking and more playing.

Johnson called Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden a two-faced (expletive) last year.

Johnson referred to former Buccaneers teammate Rhonde Barber as an "Uncle Tom."

Dude even blamed Pam Oliver for something. So it is clear that Keyshawn is the type of guy that points fingers at others. Only Bill Parcells would continue to put up with this guy’s antics as he is back to his non-touchdown catching ways.

Couple we would like to see: There should be a union of Omorosa and Keyshawn. Two me-first, camera (epletives) who would become the hallmark for media whoring couples.

T.O. green-eyed with envy: Eagles receiver Terrell Owens said that he was jealous of the relationship that Bledsoe and Johnson shared.

"It seemed like lifetime ago that I was calling out Donovan for being a (expletive) and acting like I was a complete a-hole," Owens said.

Nobody disrespects Brady and the Patriots. Quarterback Tom Brady suffered the first meltdown of his career last week when he lashed out at the Chargers and coach Marty Schottenheimer. Obviously he must have still been loopy from all of those hits. But the Boy Wonder led the Patriots to a victory on Sunday thanks to Mike Vick having the afternoon off and the foot of Adam Vinatieri bailing him out again.

So the temper tantrum (that seems to be going around these days) worked and it proved one thing: Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Thought of the day: Brady is Jim Kelly without Vinatieri. Only Kelly is the guy you would want to party with. Trust us.

Madman: Jets kicker Mike Nugent missed two more field goal attempts this weekend. It is tough to make a kick when you have a stranglehold around your neck.

Tampa Bay in need of a mechanic. Give Cadillac Williams the rookie of the year award right now because the Bucs cannot win without him. Brian Griese looks like Johnny Unitas with him in the lineup and Johnny Walker without him.

Not to go Sports Dork on all of you, but has their ever been a more unlikely pair of actors cast as football players than Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Downey, Jr.? Was there ever a role more suited for William Zabka?

Can you believe? The Raiders have not lost in two weeks?

The Raiders were there in spirit. When in the name of Lyle Alzado got into the Baltimore Ravens this week as they were flagged 21 times in a 35-17 loss to the Lions. Two Ravens players Terrell Suggs and B.J. Ward were both tossed for acting like Raiders. It as if Al Davis spirit had come back from the dead to inhabit the body of Brian Billick.

What, Al Davis is not dead?

The Lions, meanwhile, are on top of the NFC North with a 2-2 record and are trying to become the team with the worst offense to ever win a Super Bowl since, well, Raven (sic) in 2000.


80's Movie Dork said...


How come almost every day when I read your blog, I see a regurgitated Colin Cowherd take in it? You are getting worse than BPhin regurgitating Elf takes.

Also, Morton Downey and that dork from Sixteen Candles as football studs was more believable than thinking of you as a writer for the NFL.

Clumps said...

Morton Downey? The singer? Or his douchebag son, who hosted that talk showwith all the nutbags?

J.November said...

"Thought of the day: Brady is Jim Kelly without Vinatieri. Only Kelly is the guy you would want to party with. Trust us."

Awesome... Just awesome

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