Tuesday, October 04, 2005

From The Desk of Lil’ Hater


[Editor’s Note: While HaterNation is busy getting his Rally Monkey stuffed animal dry-cleaned, the web site will offer the pointless ramblings of his sidekick, Lil’ Hater. You will all be stupider for reading this.]

A few thoughts on last night's MNF broadcast:

Is there anything more depressing than a promo for a "special one-hour" George Lopez Show? Who watches this show, Raider fans? Do they have the attention span necessary to follow a plot for a whole hour?

Yes, actually there is something more depressing. The teaser from the local SoCal news anchor: "Both the Right and the Left are upset with the new Supreme Court nominee. Right after Wife Swap."

Is it possible for millions of potential viewers to be turned off a show in less than a minute? If you’re watching 60 Seconds with Jimmy Kimmel, it certainly is. Couldn't they just get the country singer dude to throw in a couple extra verses about Bill Parcel's waistline, and cut this Kimmel crap out altogether? Dude, you're on national TV. Open your eyes. And try being funny. Throw in a Ron Mexico joke or something. And speaking of Ron Mexico, do you think all the Raider fans in Stadio Azteca Sunday night [um, let’s not go there – Editor].

Anyway, Lil' Hater sobered up early enough on Sunday morning, and saw his first Raiders pregame show this weekend, featuring Norv Turner and Jim Plunkett. Again: Norv Turner and Jim Plunkett, in the studio. That's a sight for bleary eyes. Why haven't the producers of Extreme Makeover done a special episode with these two dudes is beyond me.

And finally, a belated shout out to Coach Norville, for his big W against The Big D. Yeah, it only took 12 years, but it looks like he's finally figured out how to beat his old team. Actually, Lil’ Hater suspects the knowledge of wily special teams coach Joe Avezzano, who coached for the Cowboys from 1990-2002, had more to do with it than "Play Calling Genius" Norv, who wisely decided to put the ball in the hands of his best player four whole times in a must-win game. But then again, when you're averaging a mere 24.5 yards/catch for the season, as Randy Moss is, clearly it’s best not to exploit this clear advantage unless you’re down by two scores or more. The fact that QB Kerry Collins hasn't thrown an interception yet this year is actually an indictment of the team's play calling, rather than a positive. Collins should be taking more risks, and launch the ball upfield a lot more than is now the case. If 99-year-old Mark Brunnell and Santana Moss can go deep on the Cowboys, so can Moss and Collins.

1 comment:

Riss said...

I wrote an Ode to Kerry Collins a couple weeks ago on my blog.

Ode to Kerry Collins

I think that I shall never see
A quarterback more fearful than thee
For what else can explain your need to remain
Upright and tackle-free.

Thine eyesight too, is much in doubt
For thy ignorance of Randy's whereabouts
When thine arm is back and set to release
To a fourth option scrub thou sends it out.

But I still have faith. Faith that he and Norv will one day think to check where Moss is.