Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Big WNBA News

Well, at least as big as news about a fake sports league can be.

The WNBA on Wednesday celebrated the announcement of its first ever heterosexual fan. Long-time fan Sandra Hooper announced on Wednesday that she was indeed a heterosexual and actually loved men. Hooper, a season ticket holder for the Los Angeles Sparks, said that despite the obvious signs—flannel shirt, mullet hair style and, you know, WNBA season tickets—she is 100 percent into guys.

"Yep, I truly love men," Hooper said. "I like real men like Siegfried & Roy, Charles Nelson Riley, Brian Boitano, and Terrell Owens. I just love them."

Hoopers' announcement came on the heels of reigning WNBA MVP Sheryl Swoopes who came of the closet on Wednesday when she announced she was a lesbian. Fans were caught off-guard. No, not that there was a lesbian in the WNBA, but rather that the WNBA still existed. Swoopes told ESPN the Magazine that she did not come out closet earlier in fear that the league’s lone heterosexual fan—Sandra Hooper—would not look up to her as a role model.

"It is important to make sure that the minority of our fan base did not feel disenfranchised," Swoopes said.

Swoopes said that it "irritates" her that nobody talks about male athletes being gay in other sports, but it has become an issue in the WNBA. Greg Louganis agreed with that assessment and both former Olympic champions are looking forward to the day there is a gay athlete in a real sport.

"We're looking at you Tom Brady."

Bird Says She is Still Straight

Seattle point guard Sue Bird went out of her way on Wednesday to point out that she was still heterosexual and was still looking for some guy—any guy—to find her attractive. Bird also wanted to mention that her profile is still active and looking for its first hit. There were no takers as of press time.

Greg Louganis says, "Dive into the Hater Nation Forums."

You know you really want to sound off about this. Click here.


TJ Rubley said...

I've always been somewhat baffled at the lack of play that Charles Nelson Riley gets on NFL web logs.

Props to Hater for stepping up to right this wrong.

Thomas said...

Swoopes is gay? Unbelievable.....

I've watched a few WNBA games and all I can say is some of those dudes look like chicks.