Thursday, September 08, 2005

Hey Look, More Meaningless Picks

Let us join in as one of the 1,503, 396 sites that put up their predictions in the brief hope that the blind nut will find the squirrel.

AFC East
1. New England. Have to prove that they cannot win.
2. Buffalo. Losman cannot be worse than Bledsoe was last season.
3. New York Jets. With a kicker named Nugent, you would figure they would have a strangle hold on the division.
4. Miami. Insert your own Dolphins "Up in Smoke" joke here.

AFC North
1. Baltimore. Losman does not look too bad now, eh?
2. Pittsburgh. Touchdown Tommy saves the day in Pittsburgh.
3. Cincinnati. Yeah, one of these years will be the breakthrough. It will not be this one.
4. Cleveland. Cleveland sucks.

AFC South
1. Houston. Think Cowboys 1992.
2. Indianapolis. Those annual losses to New England hurts mental approach.
3. Jacksonville. Blah.
4. Tennessee. Leinart reunited with Chow in 2006.

AFC West
1. Raiders. Ha, just kidding.
1. Kansas City. It is time.
2. Denver. Why not?
3. San Diego. Sand bagging.
4. Oakland. Too bad Moss and Jordan are not cornerbacks.

Wild Cards: Indianapolis and Buffalo.
AFC Champion: Buffalo

NFC East
1. Dallas Cowboys. It is all fun and games now.
2. Philadelphia. Too long on top. This is not the 1980s.
3. Washington. Should have stuck to NASCAR.
4. New York Giants. Eli Messiah cannot work miracle.

NFC North
1. Green Bay. Somebody has to win this division.
2. Chicago. Orton could have a Roethlisberger-type season if they can run the ball.
3. Minnesota. Moss was bad for team chemistry catching all of those touchdowns.
4. Detroit. Playoff hopes rested on Jeff Garcia.

NFC South
1. Carolina. Hate this pick because everybody loves them.
2. Atlanta. Winning with running and defense.
3. Tampa Bay. Chucky will join Martz and Shanahan in ex-genius club.
4. New Orleans. Early season surge falls under weight of situation.

NFC West
1. Arizona. Time for the Birds to fly. (First said in 1999.)
2. Seattle. Peter Warrick cannot catch, either
3. St. Louis. Martz could not win when his players were in their prime.
4. San Francisco. Gunning to have Alex Smith and Matt Leinart.

Wild Cards: Chicago and Atlanta.
NFC Champions: Carolina.
Super Bowl Champions: Carolina.

Nothing shocking here. But we have been on the Panthers bandwagon since 2003 (read below).

NFL INSIDER PICK

What about the NFL Insider sleeper pick? Each year, one team emerges from the pack of also-rans to make a run in the playoffs. The formula, started by the NFL Insider staff, picks out variables that will contribute to a team making a run at the playoffs. The most recent success was Carolina in 2003, which was well documented in the Post Mortem column on NFL.com. Last year was not a success (Cleveland). But this formula is good one year and bad the next, kind of like Tiki Barber.

What you look for is a team that has starting a new quarterback, new full-time running back, had a losing season the previous year, has never won a Super Bowl, and does not play on Monday Night Football. This year's pick?

Arizona.

MORE USELESS PICKS

If you need a good laugh each week, I will be representing The Hater Nation in The Writer's NFL picks each week at the The Writers. Keep track as we lose our dignity each week.

AND FINALLY

A new Last and Ten list is up on the left, thanks to contributors Mikey Two Beers and Rob in Tampa. Last and Ten reasons why Jerry Rice retired.

3 comments:

Charger Ray said...

Chargers finishing 3rd? I see them finishing at worst 10-6 and being a Wild-card team.

KC is toast especially if trent Greens leg goes out.

Dave said...

I can see the Panthers winning it all, but I won't give up on the Pats until they loose.

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