Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Jose Canseco: All is Forgiven

The life of Jose Canseco took a turn on Monday morning with a positive drug test. The only thing is, it was not his.

Canseco was considered a bigger lowlife than your typical Real World cast member following the release of his tell-all book, Juiced. Canseco, despite the media firestorm, started a resurrection with a convincing appearance on 60 Minutes and boosted his appeal on the Surreal Life. (Who figured that Bronson Pinchot would come off creepier?)

The positive drug test of Rafael Palmeiro on Monday cemented his Canseco's rebirth. Canseco has been vindicated and is looking pretty good after months of being baseball pariah. Jose, sorry that we doubted you.

Canseco has made a comeback that guys like Kobe Bryant could only envy. And it did not cost him a $4 million ring, either. The only way that Canseco could top this revelation would be to sign a contract with the Angels to be the designated hitter, hit 20 home runs, and lead the team to the World Series.

That is not hard to imagine after the last couple of days.

THE PALMEIRO IMPACT

Let the Viagra jokes begin.

Palmeiro was the one guy that you figured was not taking steroids. It was the one part of Canseco's book that cast doubt on its accuracy. That doubt it gone. Canseco might be a whistle blower, but he is clearly not a liar.

Palmeiro is done. The court of public opinion has weight in and it is heavily against the Cuban slugger. Palmeiro was killed on the late night talk shows on Monday night. You thought figured that Palmeiro had heard it all when he signed on to pitch Viagra; that was nothing. Now even Viagra backed away from Palmeiro.

Forget the Hall of Fame, too. Palmeiro was an outside candidate before he was a proven steroid user. This should cast a doubt on his whole career and put his 3,000 hits and 500 home runs into perspective.

How could this get any worse for Palmeiro?

Oh yeah, there is this little thing called perjury when he testified in front of Congress. The Camp X-Ray softball team looks to be getting a ringer soon.

WHO IS NEXT?

The positive drug test of Palmeiro is surprising. If you had said that a first baseman from the American League East was going to test positive for steroids, the name that would have screamed at you would be Jason Giambi.

Take a look at how far Giambi has come recently.

The former Long Beach State Dirtbag was in baseball Siberia earlier this season. Giambi was hitting .224 with three home runs in the month of April. The Yankee fans and management had turned on him. The club tried to option Giambi down to AAA, but he refused. The Yankees even contemplated giving him his outright release and wanted to get rid of the guy so bad they were thinking of eating millions of dollars to get rid of him. Giambi's baseball career was finished.

Then all of a sudden he seemingly gained 20 pounds in a month and hit .350 with 14 home runs in the month of July. You would like to give Giambi the benefit of the doubt in this situation, but he is an admitted steroid user.

Imagine if O.J. Simpson's girlfriend turned up dead on her porch along with a busboy from a nearby restaurant. You would have to at least question O.J., right?

Giambi needs to be questioned for this remarkable return. Those naive enough can rationalize that he has just gotten more comfortable at the plate, but we remain unconvinced. Not only should Giambi have to take a drug test every day, the Sultan of Steroids should have to pee in a cup each time he steps up to the plate.

If Giambi loses 20 pounds and that batting average dips in the month of August, we can probably thank Palmeiro and his positive test. If not, we will appologize.

We already made up with Canseco.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know what's worse: Raffy changing his case to say that he never "intentionally" roids or that Jose was right and now the world need to kiss his butt.

Flash said...

I don't buy Giambi's resurgence as being legit either. It never ceases to amaze me how much baseball players improve when it's either time for free agency or you're about to be shipped to AAA. I wouldn't be surprised if they find that Giambi found a "way" to bulk up in order to get his hitting back on track and save his career. Becoming comfortable at the plate, my ass.

Anonymous said...

Giambi doesn't look any bigger to me than he did in April. In fact, the only difference I see is that his gut appears to have shrunk.