Thursday, July 21, 2005

Terrell Owens Died For Your Sins

Life is tough for Terrell Owens who must find a way everyday to say something dumber than he has in the past. That is not an easy task when you look over the quotes of his past. Owens does rise to the occasion to put his foot in his mouth, much in the same vein that he worked so hard to overcome an ankle injury and play in Super Bowl XXXIX.

But even Owens may have trouble topping what he said on Wednesday.

Owens has been feeling the heat this summer that has stemmed from his desire to renegotiate his obsolete, seven-year deal he signed prior to the 2004 NFL season. So Owens let out this little beauty in an interview with the Miami Herald:

"At the end of the day, I don't have to worry about what people think of me, whether they hate me or not. People hated on Jesus. They threw stones at him and tried to kill him, so how can I complain or worry about what people think?"

Calls to Heaven were unreturned this morning. But sources close to the Lord said that Owens is really stretching that whole forgiveness thing.

And do not worry it gets worse.

"How can you justify hating me after I worked so hard rehabilitating from a broken leg to get back to the Super Bowl to help our team try to win? Really, you've got to look at who the villain really is in this thing."

Actually it is not hard to find the villain in this whole thing. Jesus died to cleanse humanity from their sins; Owens wants a couple of extra million from a football contract--yeah, that is the same.

And memo to Owens, JC turned water into wine; he did not whine for a new contract like Ricky Watters.

This comment comes on the heels of the story yesterday that his agent Drew Rosenhaus saved a young boy from drowning by performing CPR. It is a shame that Rosenhaus cannot seem to save Owens from drowning in a sea of stupidity.

But then again, Owens can walk on water.

3 comments:

Lawrence said...

Nice snipe there. "JC turned water into wine; he did not whine for a new contract like Ricky Watters.

You should write for the Daily Pilot.

Karl said...

Well since you said that Terrell Owens "died" for our sins, that's just a lie. But Owens is a much greater diety than others in the past because African Americans weren't allowed to be dieties during Jesus' era.

Joe Florkowski said...

You know what's weird? How Terrell Owens and Barry Bonds both played in San Francisco at the same time. How is it possible that two egos of such comparable size could fit into one bay?