Friday, July 29, 2005

Breaking NFL News

Philadelphia Eagles defensive end Jerome McDougle was shot in the stomach by armed robbers, police in South Florida said Friday. McDougle was in the bad part of town--known as Miami--when three armed gunmen who demanded that he hand over his silver Mercedes coupe approached him. The suspects fired their weapons when McDougle refused to hand over his vehicle.

McDougle, who has played only 19 games in first two seasons, really does not like training camp. And seriously, only two gunmen could hit him? Who were the other shooters, A.J. Feeley? Gus Frerotte?

The police are looking for this man in connection with the shooting, Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor (pictured right). Or maybe Brian Blades was back in town. When reached for comment, O.J. Simpson said that he only steals cable nowadays.

Besides, the Juice said that he has never shot anybody.

In short, a former Miami Hurricane (figures) was in the wrong part of town and was shot because he refused to turn over his "bling." How does this even qualify as news? It is unusual for an NFL player to be on the receiving end of a bullet or knife. It is refreshing to see America is finally standing up to that roving gang known as the NFL.

GANNON TO BOOTH

Rich Gannon, an expected first-ballot Hall of Average quarterback, has announced that he will join CBS as a football announcer this fall. However, CBS was forced to put Gannon on the disabled list and Rodney Peete will call the first four games of the season while Gannon recovers from yet another injury.

LAST AND TEN

From the home office in Temple Terrace, Florida, here is the last and ten reasons why Dolphins rookie Manuel Wright was crying at practice on this week:

10. Much like CSI Miami, the Dolphins are a second-rate franchise.
9. Coach Saban said the 2003 LSU Tigers would have whipped USC.
8. Dolphins still pay full price at Shula’s Steakhouse.
7. Found out his NFL contract paid him less than he was earning at USC.
6. Was told that the original Flipper passed away years ago.
5. Have you ever seen the Dolphins practice on offense? You would cry, too.
4. He just found out OJ would not be able to get him free Sunday Ticket.
3. After one day of training camp, he was already tired of hearing about the 1972 Dolphins.
2. He did not hold the laces out.
1. He was not crying, his eyes watered after he hot boxed with Ricky Williams.

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