Thursday, June 09, 2005

Fashion Police

What will the fashionable convicts and hip-hot artists being wearing this fall season? Randy Moss' new Oakland jersey, according to reports released on Wednesday. But that's no surprise.

The gangster element is alive and well with the Raiders and its fans. The story tried to reason that a high-profile player going to a team with high merchandise sales is an instant winner. And it is. But the story is dishonest in that it ignores gang and wannabe gang element that loves the Raiders. And who is more fitting of the gang element than Randy Moss? The dude tried to roll his posse onto the field prior to the 2000 NFC Championship Game at Giants Stadium. Moss has disrespected an NFL official and even go as far as to run over an officer of the law.

The dude uses the gangster image and the street toughs along with suburbann white kids in the Red States want to share in that imagine. The NFL will never admit that this is the case. But the league also doesn't want to admit that gambling has helped keep the league at the top.

All the NFL cares about is the countless droves of idiots who shell out nearly $300 for an authentic Moss jersey. Even if they wear them on bank hold ups.

Numerous families must have went foodless overthee past couple of months as Chewy, Darth, and Violator skimped and saved for that precious jersey. Many tow-trucker drivers must have overcharged in a vein attempt to make money. The league did not, however, release information on how many jerseys were bought with food stamps. There was one story about a Raiders fan that tried to trade a carton of cigarettes for a Moss jersey (like they do in the joint), but he was shanked instead.

The only question that remains is how long the honeymoon will last between Moss and Oakland. How many plays must Moss take off before the Black Hole turns on him? Probably never. One thing you have to give credit to the Raiders fans is that they blindly follow their players no matter how ineffective they become. How else could you explain the longevity of James Jett?

Not to turn into Uniform Watch

The Eagles led the league in merchandising sales after reaching the Super Bowl for the first time in 25 years. Finally the fans were able to rid themselves of their two-sizes too small Kevin Turner jersey.

Alex Smith, the first pick in the draft by San Francisco, was 12th in league sales. A "Kirk Reynolds #69" jersey did not rank. But it's available.

Eli Messiah ranked seventh in jersey sales last year but was not in the Top 25 this season. It didn't take Giants fans too long to wise up to this guy. The Messiah's idiot savant brother, Peyton, also was left out of the top 25. Guess he needs to win a big game.

Mike Vick ranked second behind Moss, with Ron Mexico coming in at number 11. If you count both Vick and Mexicotogetherr, then he becomes the top selling playing in the league.

1 comment:

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