Monday, May 23, 2005

Raiders Fan in the Mist Volume III

The much anticipated Freeway League series kicked off on Friday evening, and no surprise, the Angels took two of three from the Dodgers. But it wasn't all giggles, grins, and Crispy Creme donuts for Angels fans. Especially those dumb enough to make the trip out to Chavez Ravine.

Some people obviously don't read the Hater Nation (but you're in good company with nearly the entire free world).

One reader did make the mistake of going to the Angels-Dodgers game on Friday night and here was his account in Raiders Fans in the Wild, Volume III.


I know Dodger Stadium sucks and their fans are idiots... but it was a friend's birthday party and we weren't sitting in the cheap seats; these were $17 reserved seats behind home plate in the upper deck. At least this section would be safe from the Raider element, right?


I immediately felt like Ethan Hawke walking up the steps of the Boyle Heights house in the movie, Training Day, as I started to make the epic climb to my seat. This wasn't the crowd of Star Wars geeks that the smart people were mingling with this weekend. This was like The Cantina scene of the original Star Wars (Episode IV nerds), complete with Guido, Snagletooth, and the other dregs of the galaxy.

It's nice that the Dodgers spent all that money to add those seats in the foul area around home plate. But do you think that they could have earmarked some of that money towards replacing their already dilapidated seats in the upper deck? I now have fiberglass splinters that will likely never purge itself from my butt.

Bad seats, bad crowd, and I won't even get into the fact that the game started at 7:40. That's right, 7:40. Great, that just gives Dodgers fans another reason to still arrive late and leave early. And where is the reception area of the ballpark? Dodger Stadium, for those who have never been, was built haphazardly into the side of a mountain without any thought or planning given. Or so it seems. The stadium has ample wasted acreage that could have easily housed a Hooters, or Catch, but no, they have a gas station. L.A. needs another gas station.

Don't think about having a beer in the parking lot. If the Dodgers fans
don’t shoot you, the lot security will quickly rise to make sure that you are not going to have fun at Dodger Stadium. Who's running the place, Lynndie England?

"No fun" seems to be the motto of Dodger Stadium.

The stadium doesn't have a place to sit and eat food. You can't have a sandwich and a beer in the parking lot. And forget trying to find a restaurant or bar near Dodger Stadium. Unless you want to pull into Letty and Chewy’s backyard, you're out of luck. It's concession lines or bust at Dodger Stadium. And it's fantastic.

It's a minor quible and most East Coast fans will say that Angels fans are spoiled. And they are right. I won't lie about it. Technology has advanced and so have baseball stadiums. You might wax nostalgic about going to a baseball stadium to watch a game. But I get wistful about the times when I could go to games and not fear for my life.

I had just completed a rubbery Dodger dog and was halfway through my overpriced beer when Chone Figgins tripled with the bases loaded to give the Angels a 3-0 lead. I had the audacity to cheer for my team. Stupid me. I was greeted with raining debris from hot dogs, to pennies, to roach clips. I was hooted, hollered, and felt like I was back in high school because somebody said something about "finishing the essay."

It wasn't good-natured ribbing like when a Yankees or Red Sox fan tries to start a fight at Angel Stadium. This was serious. I sat with the same uneasiness as Andy Dufresne in the room full of sodomites in the Shawshank Redemption. I cringed every time a Dodger fan walked at me with his hand cupped. I thought for sure that I was going to be shanked.

I eventually made my way up to the concession stand to construct body armor from those cardboard cup holders. At least I felt a little safer.

The only problem is that the Angels didn't make it any easier as they kicked Dodgers tail, 9-0. The inmates started to get restless. I think I even heard a couple of them chant, "Attica! Attica!" At least the Dodgers fans had some reason to cheer, when Vladamir Guererro was injured "sliding" into home plate. Seriously, it was the biggest ovation of the evening.

That is typical behavior of the Dodger/Raiders fan, to cheer for an injury for the other team. My only concern was that I would be the next one on the disabled list. Seriously.

I know understand why a lot of fans leave early... they are used to strict "visiting hours." Still, I couldn't leave a game early. That's such a Dodgers thing to do. So I sweated out the 9-0 victory (not sweating the game, but my life), and quickly jumped on the 5 Freeway and headed south.

Artie Moreno wants to represent this town and these fans? I've always been ambivalent to the whole name change, but not any more. I understand that Artie wants to increase his global marketing, but attaching yourself to these fans?

I would imagine if Artie sat in the cheap seats of Dodger Stadium this weekend, he would have changed his tune. Not to mention changed the name back to Anaheim.


Anonymous said...

that was the best article about the dodgers I have ever read!


Anonymous said...

That best article I read about Dodger stadium Raider fan and Dodger stadium security

BTW Lydnnie England she run the Dodger stadium security

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